i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed
a dentist
i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police
(via confirmance)
Whenever you’re feeling sudden calm its because I took your voodoo doll out for a picnic on a grassy hill
thank you
(via ugly)
Reblog if you’re asexual, bisexual, demisexual, pansexual, homosexual, bigender, agender, transgender, or just really like fall out boy.
(via oscarborn2bwilde)
i just want to make someone’s heart nut
cardiac ejaculation
(via zackisontumblr)
(Source: deathoftakes, via firedrill)
i love how half of millenial humor is just thinly veiled cries for help and the other half is dadaist absurdism
(via confirmance)
La La Land teaches us no matter how deep you fall in love with someone, sometimes you’re just not meant to be.
my favorite American holiday is the one where we have a gopher predict the weather
the gopher has spoken
(Source: surprisedentistry, via allantruong)